Memorial Day Trip to Insanity

Last year, I had a last minute lapse in judgment opportunity to accompany my mom and stepdad on their annual Memorial Day trip to a cabin at a lake about three hours from where we live. Let me re-cap the experience for you:

Quinn: Age 2, sleeping in a crib, wearing diapers, not talking well.
Bryce: Age 3 1/2, routine-dependent, manipulative, competitive with brother.
Kristen: Physical Age late 20's, Mental Age 98 (thus demented), impatient, sleep-deprived, unprepared.
Beds: Two bunk beds and one hide-a-bed in community area for me and the boys.
Liquor: Major shortage.
Head traumas: At least one (Quinn, repeatedly slamming his head on the bottom rails of the top bunk while in exhausted hysterics).

After it was over, since she is insane is a glutton for punishment found it all so enjoyable, and our presence so peaceful, my mom invited us back this year. I've taken several steps to improve the experience. First and foremost, John is coming with us against his will. We also have a separate cabin this year so my mom won't hear the threats of violence, the kids are a year older and both basically potty trained*, and we should be stocked with plenty of recently purchased Oregonian wine to dull the roars in our heads make everything seem more festive. However, we're also bringing our crazy epileptic dog, so that might even the score--we wouldn't want things to seem too peaceful or relaxing, you know. Unfortunately, unlike our snazzy hotel in Portland, these cabins don't exactly have free wi-fi, or any wi-fi whatsoever. So you might not hear from us this weekend, but I'm sure we'll have some horrifying entertaining stories and photos for you to thank your lucky stars you're not us admire upon our return.

*"Basically potty trained" refers to Quinn, who will require constant monitoring and sniffing, which I'm not actually sure is going to be less work than changing diapers on a cabin floor.