Add another one to the list
Today I will have to add one more to the list of Places We Can Never Return. After dropping B off at school (which went very well considering I was in the smaller of our two vehicles with no DVD distraction device which increases the chance of malicious and intentional contact between B and Q which usually ignites an all out screamcrywailfest which usually results in white knuckle grip on the steering wheel which we all know adds negative points to the Can I Get to Where I'm Going Safely in Morning Traffic Game), I plan my route so I can zip through the bank drive through lane before heading to the Y (which usually triggers the morning's fifth encore of Q's screamcrywailfest because God forbid he be left in a safe, fun playroom at the YMCA with 6 other children he can romp with for 45 minutes).
I pull in to the drive through lane at the bank, and find myself penless. I notice this bank has a very sophisticated video system in place. A camera is pointed directly at me, and not only can I see the video feed of myself on the monitor but also on a split screen display I can see the teller inside the bank! I push the speaker button to ask for a pen and hear the teller's pleasant voice, "May I help you?"
Now I'm sure bank tellers hear all kinds of strange conversations coming from the vehicles while they process the daily flow of monetary transactions, but I'm quite sure this teller, in fact ANY teller, has never heard what happened next.
The teller's voice asks "May I help you?" and just before I can ask for a pen, Q yells, in his loudest, clearest voice, "My PENIS hurts! It's too hard! It's hard and it HURTS. My penis!!!!"
There is a brief silence, and the teller, wide eyed in shock and surprise, responds "Excuse me?" Having never been in a situation quite like this before, I quickly run through my options: Drive away? Apologize? Explain? Well, I decide the best course of action is to simply ignore it .... pretend it didn't happen. I ask for a pen, it comes, I fill out my deposit slip, receive the receipt back, and leave --- quickly.
I pull in to the drive through lane at the bank, and find myself penless. I notice this bank has a very sophisticated video system in place. A camera is pointed directly at me, and not only can I see the video feed of myself on the monitor but also on a split screen display I can see the teller inside the bank! I push the speaker button to ask for a pen and hear the teller's pleasant voice, "May I help you?"
Now I'm sure bank tellers hear all kinds of strange conversations coming from the vehicles while they process the daily flow of monetary transactions, but I'm quite sure this teller, in fact ANY teller, has never heard what happened next.
The teller's voice asks "May I help you?" and just before I can ask for a pen, Q yells, in his loudest, clearest voice, "My PENIS hurts! It's too hard! It's hard and it HURTS. My penis!!!!"
There is a brief silence, and the teller, wide eyed in shock and surprise, responds "Excuse me?" Having never been in a situation quite like this before, I quickly run through my options: Drive away? Apologize? Explain? Well, I decide the best course of action is to simply ignore it .... pretend it didn't happen. I ask for a pen, it comes, I fill out my deposit slip, receive the receipt back, and leave --- quickly.
Labels: fringe dialogue
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