Buffets Are Bad

I have way too many items on my decision plate right now. In fact, it feels less like a decision plate and more like a Furr's Buffeteria Decision Smorgasbord! Only in America! Larger than life! More than you'd ever want to think about in a lifetime! Need some more? We've got it here!

Which life-altering decision shall we sample today? First, we have the ever-present "new counselor for disturbed teen" decision. This one's maternal and creepy, and that one's energy level might suck the life out of the kid - which will it be?

If your palate isn't primed for that one yet, perhaps you'd like to consider a new job offer! Oh, but wait, this is America. We have more than one choice for you, we have many LARGE AND COMPLEX choices. Not only can you have a job offer to consider, but we'll get you a hefty raise at your current job, too. Now what's your decision? "Loyalty, comfort, and stagnation" or "stress, new territory, greater long-term income potential"? This decision's always a tasty classic - there's no bad choice, but deciding between peanut butter pie or Godiva chocolate cheesecake is a delicate issue not to be taken lightly.

Still a tad overwhelming? Then relax, and enjoy a seasonal favorite - the holiday meal decisions. Oh, will it be brunch on Christmas Eve with in-laws, dinner the day after Christmas with in-laws, afternoon snack on Christmas Day with in-laws, or running away to a convent to spend a peaceful next five decades without in-laws? The faint smell of gingerbread and peppermint lingers over this decision, giving it a warm and familiar taint. Surely this is the decision to make today.