Don't Hate, Advocate!

--Here, mom. Do you want some delicious baby duck?

--No, thanks. I don't eat duck.

--It's just for pretend!

--Oh. Okay. Well, sure, yum yum. Thanks for that duck. Now can you please get out of the tub and dry off?

--Okay. But, you know what? Mrs. F. said we could eat ducks! She said we could.

--Yes, some people do eat ducks.

--Yeah. I wish I could eat ducks. But I can't. Because I'm a vegetarian.

--Well, actually, you eat bacon, and that's meat; you're not a vegetarian.

--*SIGH!* I don't eat meat very OFTEN, so that's why I'm a vegetarian!

--Okay. You're a vegetarian who eats bacon. Why do you think people become vegetarians?

--No, I was already a vegetarian when I was born! I didn't become one.

--OH? Huh. Well, why do you think other people choose to be vegetarians?

--I don't CHOOSE it! I just am one. *rolls eyes*

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My son is a bacon-eating vegetarian and he was born that way. If there is any decency left in this world, one day he, and other bacon-eating vegetarians, even those with less accepting families (in-the-pantry bacon-eating vegetarians, if you will), will be granted the same acceptance as all the other food-eaters in this predominantly either/or, carnivorous/vegetarian country of ours. It's not an "illness," a "disorder," or a "sin" -- that's absurd! It's just who he is. And there is nothing inherently wrong with being a bacon-eating vegetarian. Linguistically, and for technical reasons involving the little problem of the phrase not being...accurate? Yes. Morally? No.

O, bacon! He wishes he could quit you.