Irresponsibility, Shmirresponsibility

It's been quiet for 20 minutes. Both kids are alive, awake, and in the house. John and I both have complete movement of all of our limbs and bodily functions, so we aren't tied up with kitchen twine or phone cords while they prepare us for sacrifice. Nobody has been threatened or bribed or scared into submission. What has led to this unprecedented event?

Scissors. Really sharp, dangerous scissors. And old magazines. "Here you go, kids! Let us know if there's any blood, okay? Have fun!"

This is unbelievable.