Halloween Musings (aka the FLASH! post)

John brought the camera along on the trick-or-treat excursion tonight, the way any decent, self-respecting photographer dad would. I didn't think about the fact that the professional grade flash on his camera would EXPLODE IN OUR EYES LIKE THE LIGHT OF A THOUSAND SUNS, burning our retinas and permanently imprinting a huge purple blot right in the middle of our line of vision. Sorry about the blindness, kids - but, MAN! We got some great halloween pictures, right?! Right?!

The whole adventure was like an assault on my senses. There was the whole flash problem for my eyes, of course. Also, as soon as I walked in the door from work, Bryce started bouncing around like a frog on speed, talking so fast he was interrupting himself: "Momdoyouknowwhattonightis?It'shalloweenIlovethisnightoftheyearit'sSOCOOLI'mgoingtobe
amedeivalknightandQuinn'sgoingtobeaprinceandwegettogotrick-or-treatingIcan'twait!!!!We'regoingtogetcandyareyougoingtogetcandyIcan'twaittohavecandy
lookatthecandywegot,it'ssittingonourbanisterfortheothertrick-or-treaters,andweGETTOHAVECANDY!!!!!"

Quinn was repeating every other word Bryce said with his typical question-mark-talking, as I call it. "Candy? Trick or treating? Houses? Bag? Knight? Candy?" Once we got outside, Bryce's speed talking only got worse: "There'sahousewithalighton,let'sgotothatone.Seeitmom?It'srightthere,let'sgolet'sgolet'sgo!!!Theyhavetheirlighton, see?Canwegotheretogetcandy?Canwecanwecanwecanwecanwecanwecanwe???Iwanttogothere,Iwanttogetmorecandy!" As soon as Bryce got up to a door, he'd immediately start yelling, "Trick or Treat!" whether someone was at the door or not. Poor Quinn, who always lags behind, would come up and say, "Trick or Treating??" He couldn't just say "treat" for some reason - it was always "trick or treating". The second they turned around to leave a house, Bryce started in again: "Iwannagotoanotherhouse!Ican'twaittogettothenexthouse!I'mgoingtogetmorecandy!I'maknightsoIdecidewhereweallgo!We'regoingtothenexthousetoGETMORECANDY!"

I think I said, "Bryce, CALM DOWN!" and, "where do you think we're going, Bryce? I promise you'll get plenty of candy!" a million times. I would normally worry about being too harsh, but he was talking way too fast and way too loudly to hear anything his stupid old mom was saying. Plus, my nagging attention was divided between Bryce's speed yelling and John's every-other-second-flash-in-my-face game. FLASH! two steps FLASH! "John, that's blinding me." four steps, I can see again FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! Where's Quinn? Where's Bryce? Where are my hands?

Good times.

When we got home, Bryce was like some sort of obsessed candy cat burglar with the sneaky, quiet way he managed to open and consume way more candy than I intended for him to have right before bed. This came back to bite us (pardon the pun) when John helped him brush his teeth. From Quinn's room all the way down the hall, I could hear the screams of terror. MMM, toothpaste in your mouth after eating more sugar than you've ever consumed at one time in your life is a lovely feeling - especially for a kid who freaks out if you try to trick him by putting a new brand of canned green bean on his plate without warning him first. (Yes, apparently the stupid canned green bean brands actually taste different from each other. I believe him. He's uncanny in his ability to distinguish these things. Little freaky kid!) A few minutes later, he came into his room and sat down on his chair with his head in his hands, tears streaming down his face. "What's wrong, Bryce?" *Sniffle* "The toothpaste tasted BAAAAAADDDD!!!"

Witches? Goblins? Devils? Demons? Nope, the scariest thing about halloween is, apparently, toothpaste. And camera flashes.

FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!