Behold an actual e-mail I received today. And my translation.

-----Original Message-----
From: Human Resources Manager
Sent: Thursday, December 01, 2005 12:20 PM
To: All Employees
Subject: Pay Issues Regarding Tomorrow

Some of you are asking if you will be paid for attending the Christmas party in OKC tomorrow, and the answer is, no. Also, no mileage will be paid. Attendance is voluntary. If you are non-exempt and normally work on Friday afternoon, you should charge your time to TOWP (vacation time).

Thanks.
Human Resources Manager

-----My Translation-----
From: Human Resources Manager
Sent: Thursday, December 01, 2005 12:20 PM
To: All Employees
Subject: Pay Issues Regarding Tomorrow

Some of you are asking if we give a shit about you as employees. And the answer is, no. Also, no annual salary increases will be paid. Keeping this job is voluntary. If you are expecting more money than you currently make, you should get a second job (McDonald's).

Happy Flipping (burgers, that is) Holidays.
Human Resources Manager